Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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