probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she told me i tasted like america
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
