Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
