Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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