there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
