Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We left the knife in your bed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize