Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
