its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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