i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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