Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
