It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
