If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
