okay pat passed out under dana's car
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
