well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
