At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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