Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
