I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
