she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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