Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
