sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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