At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
