You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
