the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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