I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
