member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
