I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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