Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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