how can u be prego again
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
