took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
