New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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