like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
