i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
