she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
