found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
