Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
