she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
