he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
