Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
