lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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