Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
