When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
