well most of my day revolves around power hour
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
