4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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