I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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