do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The convent might be a nice break from real life
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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