It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
