I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize