I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
