I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
