If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are two peas in an std pod
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
