i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
