she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
