that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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