you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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