My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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