she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im part way to drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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