Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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