Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
