You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Randomize
